The heat this summer has been unbearable



I've found myself becoming a completely different person entirely because of it.



I of course knew that at times I could be a monstrosity, but I didn't believe it would be this much. The bitter verbiage that spews from my mouth the second the scalding rays of the sun touch my skin is very unlike me.



It makes me think about a question I've asked many people over the years:

Would you prefer to die of the heat or of the cold?



In all honesty I always picked the cold due to the story of the little matchbox girl. Eventually the feeling of cold creates a burning sensation, and then hopefully I would pass peacefully after that. Not to mention that my bowels would most likely not be as foul smelling.



That's terribly grotesque, apologies.



I've been on the hunt for a new place to live.



The search has been exhausting. My vehicle is from 1997 and my a/c doesn't work, the interior is black and sometimes burns when my skin touches it.



But I fucking love my car. 🚘🚗



Maybe because it's been the most constant and reliable things in my life other than my two 10 year old kitties. 🐈♌🐈‍⬛♊



I would love to purchase a used vehicle to drive while I dissect and restore my car to my satisfaction, but this is where the naysayers get into my head.



How dare you say "but that takes a lot of time though" as if most of my fellow Americans don't already waste most of our life currency by doom-scrolling and working to pay bills.



Who cares what I spend my time doing, it's time well spent learning a new skill.



While I hear people in my life say things to me like "that's so cool I wish I could do that"



I'm doing it.



TRIGGER WARNING*****



Also has anyone else been ANGRY?

Like really excessively fucking MAD?



Because I have been. I don't even know what to do with all of this anger. I don't even understand what to do to help change the state of the world.



It was expected of us in elementary, middle, and high school to change things to make a difference but no one really every taught us HOW., What is the correct way?! I'm not Aang for crying out loud. There is no spirit realm hidden deep within me or a random air glider that's going to take me to a GIANT ISLAND LIONTURTLE that tells me how to have things both ways.



I mean I'm not asking for a radical movement, but how the hell do you fight surveillance with a face that gets recognized in your area by 100 people a day?



If words don't work, and violence illicit the incorrect type of change, WHAT DO WE DO?



This isn't the "gentleman's" world that it used to be. People don't even want to properly debate anymore, they want to cash their checks, cover their fucking eyes ears and mouth, and cower into an immovable ball under their desk in congress.



Also, has it really been THAT EASY to take away everything we worked for in the past 250 years as a country? Are you serious?



I don't understand why we slap our flag around like it's a heroes cape and then we tell our children that it's okay to get in the white van as long as it's the van of a billionaire and they're making some cash to save the family home from being foreclosed. That it's okay for them to go to school just don't voice any of their beliefs or opinions about the current state of their world because they're likely to inspire a school shooting that they'll be blamed for for using their first amendment. Not only that but I should probably start thinking about joining the same cult of religion as every single one of my peers within an 80 mile radius because if I don't then I won't be heard but if I do my voice will become the same of the masses and I have to have the same thoughts and feelings as all of my fellow cult members or I will be exiled and shunned from my community. I also don't appreciate that it's to the point, which I have NEVER witnessed this in my ENTIRE LIFE, but they all get together every Sunday and walk over a STATE HIGHWAY, AN EXPRESSWAY AT THAT to hold up signs now that say "honk if you love Jesus!" "honk if you believe in Christ". But they would definitely ostracize and scream at me if I held up a sign that said "honk if you think your children are safe" "honk if you love being a part of the flock" "honk if you love being poor" "honk if you love being watched" "honk if you love radiation poisoning" "honk if you love setting fire to nature", sorry I could go on.



But listen. Protests, they're nice, but there needs to be someone, someone who goes down in history. Someone that they want to burn books about.



And hey, maybe that's one of us.



Anyways,



Cheers to the hope of autumn coming soon, and remember;



Make every day brilliant -MB



Dearmakebrilliant...